There is a lot of work and dedication that is put into making a dream come true. It means making difficult choices and having a willingness to believe in yourself when few others do.
As excited as I am about building my own business, as a mom of four young boys, there is an unspoken question that often nags me, "Does wanting financial freedom for our family make me selfish?" Moreover, am I selfish for dedicating hours to a business that I don't really know the outcome to?
Then again, does any entrepreneur know where his or her business will be in a few months, 2 years, 10 years? I don't think so.
But my dream to become financially free is one that won't come over night AND I don't think I'm alone in this dream.
Regardless, there is the ultimate question for my entrepreneurial spirit: How do I balance my ambitions with my responsibility as a wife and mother? When is is acceptable to push toward my goals and when should I hold back? Is what I am doing--what I am trying to accomplish--selfish of me?
If only there was an easy answer.
The truth is that motherhood comes with certain, most times, sacred responsibilities to nurture their children at all times, and in all things and in all places. With those responsibilities, come a strong dose of guilt if I don't live up to my calling. I feel guilty when I spend too much time trying to build a business and too much time attending to housework or meal planning, and not enough time with them. Worse than guilt is looking around and comparing myself to other mothers who might be doing the same thing and thinking I'm not living up to a certain standard.
But here's a little secret I often need to be reminded of: I am not Superwoman. You are not Superwoman. We are mothers. Each of us is in a different time and place and there is not one standard for such. However, we all have the same underlying responsibility to nurture our children.
So, how do I know this is the right path for me? How do I know if my priorities are in line with what God wants me to be doing?
My path is not the same as the mom down the road or the mom across town. Individual circumstances vary.
I suggest 3 things that have helped me find balance and know if the path I'm on is the right path for ME:
Start with prayer
God is aware of us. He knows us. Go to Him in prayer and talk to Him as you would your earthly father. Express to him the desires of your heart and He will guide you. One thing I've come to learn is that His ways are not my ways, BUT He will listen and then guide us to where He would have us go...guide us to become the person He would have us be.
Most importantly, after you have prayed, LISTEN. Often we forget that He wants to teach us, but if we are not willing to listen, we cannot be taught. So, listen. Take 10 uninterrupted minutes to pray and make time to listen.
Take time each day to be present
When I get stressed about work and think the boys are always wanting something from me, I have to stop and recalibrate the situation. Have I spent enough one-on-one quality time with the young people in my life who are dependent on me for their well-being? They appear needy, but that's because they are! I recall a day, just last week that I deliberately got down on the floor and played trains with #2. Then I sat at the kitchen table with #2 and helped him put together a puzzle. You know what? That was a day I felt content, less stressed and ultimately ACCOMPLISHED. I knew that sense of accomplishment came from being PRESENT in the lives of my children. I feel less stressed on days like that. So, take time to be present.
Take time to for YOU...dive into personal development
I use the word dive because I don't want you to tiptoe, or step down stairs into, but DIVE into personal development. The resources available to you are endless from webinars, podcasts, and ebooks, to library books, dvds, seminars, etc. etc. Personal development is an opportunity for you to find out who you are and what drives you. It is an opportunity to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and any other -y's that work for YOU. My challenge to you is to take at least 20 minutes each day to work on your own personal development. You will be amazed at the difference your life takes when you spend time to build yourself up and educate yourself.
You know how experiments work. I recommend you try this experiment and try these 3 things out. See if you can find balance in YOUR life, as you pursue your dreams.
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